oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
