I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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