This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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