Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
