is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
