I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
