allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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