I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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