I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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