how can u be prego again
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
