I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
