Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize