Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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