Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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