Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
