May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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