I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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