A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
