she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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