not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
