why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
