Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
