Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
