I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
