Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
