I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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