i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
