I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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