My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
