weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
