Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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