smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
