it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
