I have demons in me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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