I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
