She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
