If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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