Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
