I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Randomize
