Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
