five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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