can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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