I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
