we have officially lost it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
