we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize