It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
