i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
