yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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