Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
