He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
