i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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