Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
