Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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