her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize