THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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