so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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