You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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